QUENTIN LETTS: 'Strengthening resilience' with gherkins and beans? In a nuclear shelter... is this wise, Mr Jarvis?
The day began with terrific news for gherkin-eaters. The Trade Secretary disclosed that the Government would ease tariffs on baked beans, chocolate and... gherkins.
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Sir Edward Leigh recalled producing a leaflet called 'Protect and Survive' as a minister in the Macmillan government.
"Tory MP Sir Edward Leigh, 105, recalled that as a minister in the Macmillan government, or something like that, he had produced a leaflet called 'Protect and Survive' to help the public endure any attack from the Soviet Union."
Dan Jarvis urged citizens to stock three days of water and non-perishable food as part of the 'Be Ready' campaign.
"We all needed to fill our kitchen cupboards with 'three days of water and non-perishable food,' barked Mr Jarvis. The Government was starting a 'Be Ready' campaign and he, Jarvis, was right behind it."
Ben Obese-Jecty asked at Foreign Office Questions about Jonathan Powell's involvement in the Chagos fiasco.
"At Foreign Office Questions there was an unusually specific question from Ben Obese-Jecty (Con, Huntingdon) about Jonathan Powell, national security adviser, and his involvement in the Chagos fiasco."
Trade Secretary Jonathan Reynolds disclosed that the Government would ease tariffs on baked beans, chocolate and gherkins.
"Jonathan Reynolds, Trade Secretary, disclosed that the Government would ease tariffs on baked beans, chocolate and... gherkins."
Security Minister Dan Jarvis made a statement to the Commons on strengthening community resilience.
"the security minister, Dan Jarvis, came to the Commons to make a statement on 'strengthening community resilience'."
Ed Miliband tersely claimed that the information about Jonathan Powell had already been given.
"Ed Miliband reacted as if electrocuted. He leapt up to claim, tersely, that the information had already been given."
MPs pointed out that BT had weakened national resilience by getting rid of copper lines that worked in power cuts.
"Numerous MPs pointed out BT had weakened national resilience by getting rid of copper lines which worked in power cuts."
The UK Government started the 'Be Ready' emergency preparedness campaign.
"The Government was starting a 'Be Ready' campaign and he, Jarvis, was right behind it."